372 Quotes by Al Franken

I don’t know what happens to you after you die. I’m not banking on there being, like, a heaven.

During the Reagan Administration, Bob Dole was present at a ceremony that included each living ex-president. Looking at a tableau of Ford, Carter and Nixon, Dole said, ‘There they are: Hear No Evil, See No Evil and Evil.’

It was almost as if the incoming commander-in-chief had some sort of mental health problem. The kind of mental health problem that you would be disturbed to discover in your kid’s piano teacher, let alone the president of the United States of America.

The people of Minnesota value a politician who believes what he says and says what he believes and votes that way.

I also discovered how much I could learn from listening to other people’s stories – even people who at first blush didn’t seem like the kind of people you could learn much of anything from.

If we don’t start caring about whether people tell the truth or not, it’s going to be literally impossible to restore anything approaching reasonable political discourse.

If you use a cell phone – as I do – your wireless carrier likely has records about your physical movements going back months, if not years.

It’s really building Air America that I’m focused on, and for me, that almost only means doing a good show.

Well, I think that there’s a value to comedy in and of itself.