372 Quotes by Al Franken

Part of the middle class promise is that, after a lifetime of hard work, you’ll be able to retire and enjoy the fruits of that labor. Medicare was established to secure that promise.

Having children is life’s greatest joy. But there are some people, and maybe you are one of them, who don’t like kids, and consider travel life’s greatest joy. You shouldn’t have kids. Don’t have them.

As someone who’s spent time with our troops in Iraq and Afghanistan on USO tours and met wounded warriors at Walter Reed and Bethesda, I feel a deep obligation to the men and women who have risked life and limb on our behalf.

Our laws need to reflect the evolution of technology and the changing expectations of American society. This is why the Constitution is often called a ‘living’ document.

I’m crushed by the responsibility of writing a satirical book.

Teen pregnancy went way down in the ’90s, and 75 percent of it was because of increased use of contraception.

In the foreseeable future, I will be a dead person. I want to remind you that dead people are people too. There are good dead people and bad dead people. Some of my best friends are dead people. Dead people have fought in every war.” Then.

Minnesotans lost their jobs because the credit rating agencies didn’t do the only job they’re supposed to have, the only job they had, which is to give accurate, objective ratings to financial products.

We need to start by having a conversation about climate change. It would be irresponsible to avoid the issue just because it’s uncomfortable to talk about.