245 Quotes by Al Yankovic

That’s something the kids should know about. Reading is a gateway to witchcraft and lesbianism.

When I go to my live shows it’s often a multigenerational audience, a family bonding experience.

I think I’m equally as abusive as the editors normally are for the “Letters and Tomatoes” column, which is the fan mail part of MAD Magazine and an ongoing feature.

When I started out, I didn’t feel like I was really accepted in the music or comedy communities, and I was somewhere on the edge, but now I feel like I’m accepted in both, which is extremely gratifying.

Got a brand new semi-automatic weapon with a laser sight. Oh, I’m praying that somebody tries to break in here tonight.

I don’t really look at myself as the kind of person who craves attention, but I’ve never been to therapy so there’s probably a lot of stuff about myself that I don’t know.

If I could find the right kind of property, get tied in with the right movie, I’d love to be involved, but I just find it hard to be motivated to do another screenplay right now.

As much as people are griping about the Internet taking sales away from artists, it’s been a huge promotional tool for me.

I’ve done a movie and a TV series, and someday I’d like to do a successful movie and a successful TV series. That would be nice.