54 Quotes by Alan Carr

Doing stand up helps - thinking on your feet definitely comes in handy when it's a live show.

Girls don't want to hang around boys talking about 'The Golden Girls'. They want a boyfriend who turns up on a motorbike, don't they?

At school people laughed at me, not with me.

I know David Walliams did 'Blankety Blank', and when he did that I was so jealous. I would have loved to have done that. It's sort of my sense of humour.

I don't really like being a celebrity.

I think familiarity breeds contempt. I mean, we'll never get another Greta Garbo will we? Someone would go in with a camera Sellotaped to the bottom of a tray trying to get film of her with no make-up on.

I was such a worrier at school. I wish I could go back and tell myself to stop stressing.

Children? No, no, no. I struggle with a red setter.

It sounds like I work at Hallmark, but every day is a journey and you get better and that's the whole point of life.