104 Quotes by Alan King
- Author Alan King
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I don't mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.
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- Author Alan King
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When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn't like it. I had to get even. One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, 'It's a little cloudy.' I took the tube from her and said, 'Let me run it through again,' and drank it. The nurse fainted.
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- Author Alan King
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The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.
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- Author Alan King
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Museums are good things, places to look and absorb and learn.
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- Author Alan King
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My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags, an old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: 'Don't end up like me.'
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- Author Alan King
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I learned to cook in self-defense. My wife doesn't know what a kitchen is. In the first month of our marriage, she broiled lamb chops 26 nights in a row. Then I took over. I used to mind her not caring about food, but no more - as long as I can eat what I want.
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- Author Alan King
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Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
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- Author Alan King
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My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating.
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- Author Alan King
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Age, style, where you come from, where you were born, it's different every time, which, to me, is refreshing because it says that there isn't any one thing, one formula or kind of character that makes a great comedian. Everybody has had a different approach.
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