104 Quotes by Alan King

Infrastructures that are too small for the number of students are not emphasized as much when you have block scheduling, because students only have to change classes about three times, as opposed to six,

However, even under the best of circumstances, four-year graduation rates for the next few years will be substantially lower than those in the three provinces.

A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let’s eat!

Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing. We set no styles, no standards. We’re reflections. It’s a distorted mirror in the fun house. We watch society. As society behaves, then we have the ability to make fun of it.

It’s not easy being a father, but I’ve been allowed a comeback.

My father was a dreamer – my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady’s handbags, an old socialist-unionist who always considered himself a failure. His big line was: ‘Don’t end up like me.’

My mother’s sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister and six male cousins.

I made it, Ma – Carnegie Hall. And I didn’t have to practice.

My mother kept the house clean and we ate good. I didn’t know we were poor until I started giving interviews.