45 Quotes by Alex Adams

How do you file a restraining order against sadness?

Just so we're clear, I dont' secretly want to have sex with either of my parents.Me either. I worked through that in college just to make sure. It was touch and go for a while, especially when my father kept asking me if he looked pretty.

It's old. Really old.Is that a technical term?Yeah, it's technical. Translation: I don't know how old it is, but it's really fucking old.Wow. That is old.

Worst case I'll bring Rain Man here. I'll tell him it's a date.Aha, so he's cute, then?Tasty. And smart. Can't beat that witha stick.

Our new intern sorts pot shards like some kind of savant. The other interns call himi Rain Man.

It's old. Really old.Is that a technical term?

It's old. Really old.Is that a technical term?Yeah, it's technical. Translation: I don't know how old it is, but it's really fucking old.

My two best friends are dead, which means they're great listeners now, but lousy as far as support goes.

And while I tell him all my thoughts, I don't always share my secrets.