91 Quotes by Alexei Sayle

Pete couldn't believe how sanctimonious somebody could be just because they'd once had a soldering iron stuck up their arse.

...I learned the lesson that, even after the revolution, cool, handsome and confident is always going to beat weird-looking and needy.

Also a fan of being inscrutable, Franco once said, 'You are a the slave of what you say and the master of what you don't say.' He might have added that that approach isn't always guaranteed to work. If you attempt, for example, to be sphinx-like, mysterious and enigmatic when you get to the front of a long queue at the chip shop, you do risk being punched quite hard in the back of the head.

Most of the Communists I knew were nice people.

I did six series for the BBC and that was enough. I've been writing for ten years, which is more challenging artistically.

Honestly, sometimes I get really fed up of my subconscious - it's like it's got a mind of its own.

If you travel to the States... they have a lot of different words than like what we use. For instance: they say 'elevator', we say 'lift'; they say 'drapes', we say 'curtains'; they say 'president', we say 'seriously deranged git.'

If someone starts agreeing with me, I don't like it. Out of pique, I become something else.

I've accentuated the look over the years. As a comic, you try something and if it works you go with it and grind it to death.