91 Quotes by Alexei Sayle

Stand-up has got harder. Now it's all pissed-up hen parties who don't give a monkey's about your routine on the IMF. In the Eighties, comedy really felt like an agent of the revolution.

To know that these intelligent, sensitive animals are mocked, poisoned and even intentionally brain damaged, makes me full of shame.

Anyone who saw the undercover work of the BUAV would be appalled and sickened to see the procedures we inflict on our next of kin in laboratories across the UK and in Europe,

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it’s safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.

But as in all cults, what’s central to the Communist Party is the belief system and the elimination of nuance. From there you’re very slowly led down the road to fanaticism and mass murder.

Honestly, sometimes I get really fed up of my subconscious – it’s like it’s got a mind of its own.

If I won the lottery I’d start a charity that helped little family hardware stores, cobblers and fruit shops open in city centres.

Yuri Gagarin, the first man in space, may have had his charms, but he really couldn’t be considered hip.

However, my problems with my memory are further complicated by the fact that while I don’t have any recollection of things I have actually done, I have very vivid recollections of loads of things that I haven’t done.