47 Quotes by Allan Sherman

Anyone who calls it "sexual intercourse" can't possibly be interested in actually doing it. You might as well announce you're ready for lunch by proclaiming, "I'd like to do some masticating and enzyme secreting.

They sit there in committees day after day, And they each put in a color and it comes out gray. And we all have heard the saying, which is true as well as witty, That a camel is a horse that was designed by a committee.

Even if Scrabble had been invented then, I wouldn't have wanted to play Scrabble, because the highest triple word score in the world would not have expressed how much I liked the game Natalie and I played every afternoon.

Somewhere, over the rainbow, Way up tall, There's a land where they've never heard of cholesterol.

You want to fall in love with a shoe, go ahead. A shoe can't love you back, but, on the other hand, a shoe can't hurt you too deeply either. And there are so many nice-looking shoes.

I didn't decide I was crazy until 1952. That's when I began making a steady salary and could afford to be crazy.

When the great history of trouble is written, my family will stand extremely high in the table of contents.

The difference between reality and unreality is that reality has so little to recommend it.

I was having trouble making ends meet, and my beginnings weren't meeting either.