3 Quotes by Allison Burnett

Only on the Internet can a person be lonely and popular at the same time.

Most blogs are just some boring chick telling you everything you never wanted to know about her stupid life. Every single day she tells you more boring details until you just want to write to her and say, ‘Yo, bitch, when something actually happens, let me know!

If you're right and my life sucks, I'll just have to marry an ugly, old billionaire. The first time he sees me naked, which will be on our honeymoon, he'll have a heart attack and die. I'll inherit his entire fortune. You can be my chauffeur.