31 Quotes by Amber Smith

I feel these forbidden thoughts creep in sometimes without warning. Slow thoughts that always start quietly, like whispers you're not even sure you're hearing. And then they get louder and louder until they become every sound in the entire world. Thoughts that can't be undone. Would anyone care? Would anyone even fucking notice? What if one day I just wasn't here anymore? What if one day it all just stopped? What if? What if? What if?

I’ve lived so much of my life in a constant state of wishing and waiting; sometimes it was hard to stop these thoughts in my head from running wild.

And around the time the moon and sun are coexisting in the sky, turning the room inside out with that eerie, yet calming pale glow, I have a terrible thought: I like him. I really, really like him. Like, love-like him. Like, with my metaphorical heart. Like, if I had an x-ray, it would show an arrow lodged right into the center of that bloody, bleeding mass of muscle in my chest. And I know, somehow, that things have changed between us.

Emotions are not bad, even the ones like anger or fear that are often labeled as such. These emotions always come up for a reason, and that is to let us know when something doesn’t feel right. Those emotions are what urge us to make a change or do something about the thing that’s not right. It is only when we don’t or can’t do anything that those feelings overtake us and become negative.

I shove through the double doors of the library and it’s like I’ve just walked outside. Things are somehow lighter here, and everything moves at a more normal pace, slowing my heart down along with them as I stand in the entryway.

I grew up in New York State, not New York City, which is what everyone thinks when you say "New York".

I'm scared. Really scared he's about to leave me. And more scared because I don't want him to.

His hands, his arms, can hold the pieces in place temporarily, maybe even for a long time, but he can never truly put them back together. That's not his job. He's not the hero and he's not the enemy and he's not a god. He's just a boy. And I'm just a girl, a girl who needs to pick up her own pieces and put them back together herself.

There's a brief moment of silence for what we've lost. And in that moment, it ends. Finally. The past of us officially comes to an end.