1,237 Quotes by Ambrose Bierce

Die: To stop sinning suddenly.

PHILISTINE, n. One whose mind is the creature of its environment, following the fashion in thought, feeling and sentiment. He is sometimes learned, frequently prosperous, commonly clean and always solemn.

mine, adj. Belonging to me if I can hold or seize it.

Certain old men prefer to rise at dawn, taking a cold bath and a long walk with an empty stomach and otherwise mortifying the flesh. They then point with pride to these practices as the cause of their sturdy health and ripe years; the truth being that they are hearty and old, not because of their habits, but in spite of them. The reason we find only robust persons doing this thing is that it has killed all the others who have tried it.

Conversation, n.: A vocal competition in which the one who is catching his breath is called the listener.

At war with savages and idiots. To be a Frenchman abroad is to be miserable; to be an American abroad is to make others miserable.

Epitaph: An inscription on a tomb showing that virtues acquired by death have a retroactive effect.

Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.

actually, adv. Perhaps; possibly.