1,237 Quotes by Ambrose Bierce

DIAGNOSIS, n. A physician's forecast of disease by the patient's pulse and purse.

Optimism - the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.

GEOGRAPHER, n. A chap who can tell you offhand the difference between the outside of the world and the inside.

Convent - a place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.

EXILE, n. One who serves his country by residing abroad, yet is not an ambassador.

PHYSIOGNOMY, n. The art of determining the character of another by the resemblances and differences between his face and our own, which is the standard of excellence.

The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors.

FORCE, n. "Force is but might," the teacher said p/ "That definition's just."/ The boy said naught but throught instead,/ Remembering his pounded head:/ "Force is not might but must!"

Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.