235 Quotes by Amy Sedaris

I think it's still kind of weird to memorize a line, because you're supposed to 'be' this person, you know? So then its like, if I'm really this person, how can I be in the moment if I know there's just one line I'm supposed to say? It doesn't feel natural. I always just kind of want to say whatever comes up.

They assume that I want a boyfriend, and yeah, that I'd probably like to have a baby and get married - but they're wrong.

I'd just much rather see an ugly person take the trash out than see somebody really pretty taking the trash out.

They live between seven and nine years and sometimes they grow up to be teenagers but she said that my rabbit was actually really laid back.

I always find something to keep me busy.

So all I've been doing is I cook and I clean, and I entertain at my house a lot.

I like to entertain in all aspects. When you're with somebody and you're out, you want to be entertained.

I listen. I like to give advice. Mostly, I'll just try to listen to my friends, and they'll say the same thing over and over again.

Gay guys know how to craft, and they craft really well. Straight guys, forget it.