235 Quotes by Amy Sedaris

Don't leave a piece of jewelry at his house so you can go back and get it later; he may be with his real girlfriend.

Sometimes losing a pet is more painful than losing a human because in the case of the pet, you were not pretending to love it.

Don't answer the door in a wedding dress and veil, he might not think you're joking.

I don't mind pointing out some of the failings of old age, because we are all headed in that direction, unless of course we take our own lives before we become a burden. I'm not advocating suicide, oh wait, I guess I am.

I think it's good for a person to spend time alone. It gives them an opportunity to discover who they are and to figure out why they are always alone.

Accentuaute the positives - medicate the negatives.

My mother always said 'Don't bother other people.' I think that's good advice.

When you hear someone use the word 'meds' instead of the word 'medicine,' chances are they're no stranger to massive doses of mind-altering psychotropic drugs. Back out of the room slowly.

My characters always like themselves.