16 Quotes by Andrew Sturm

His heart beat so rapidly it might burst; he kept telling himself everything was fine so long as he remained a giraffe.

I'm not saying you're weak, but you brawl like a couple of girls having a pillow fight.

There's no such thing as a sane woman.

People cheer on tyrants for fear of becoming targets.

I had a quack in the floor. So, I had to use ductile.

No matter how you twist and turn, your ass is always in the back.

Everyone hated Calculus. Quadratic equations, parabolas, logarithms, trigonometry - you name it. It was like floating in an endless, frictionless void traveling at x miles per hour at a descension rate of one half the speed of gravity. Solve for x.

All of life is like raindrops on the window; some stick around for a little while and some just fall right out of the picture.

If you don't laugh at the crazy things, you're liable to lose your mind.