123 Quotes by Andy Kindler

My manager came up with the name 'State of the Industry,' and it was just one of those things. It just took off. Well, I don't know about 'took off.' I'm not in the stratosphere.

Sometimes things can be a guilty pleasure, but with 'Idol,' everyone talks about it like it's a real thing; they argue over who's gonna win... There's no laughing at it.

The cliche that comics always use is that whatever is happening in the news is 'the gift that keeps on giving.' I always thought that was a bunch of nonsense.

The Comedy Bar is an intimate club, which I prefer. I refuse to play theatres, because large empty spaces make me nervous, and I don't enjoy the echo. I'm no sell out. Literally.

The right wing is appealing to a shrinking, shrinking demographic of angry white people who blame their predicament in life on the fact that there are immigrants coming into the country; it's pretty ludicrous.

When I played a club in Salt Lake City, I complained to the crowd about the low turnout. It's always good to berate the people who paid to see you because you're upset about the people who didn't show up. It's called misplaced anger, and without it, I wouldn't have an act.

When I started out in the late '80s, my act was pretty terrible, and for years, I kind of toiled in obscurity. I don't believe in a hierarchy in comedy; I feel that a person deserves respect the first time they get onstage, and after that, they just have to be funny and get more consistent.

Why did God have to make Mo'Nique a good actress? What was God thinking when he decided to give Mo'Nique acting chops. Now we have to endure Mo'Nique comedy specials.

You tell me that 'Date Night' was good? I'm not going to see it. I will debate you on it, having no knowledge of the footage in the film. I was next to someone on the plane watching it, and they were dozing off.