8 Quotes by Andy Zaltzman

New Labour leader Ed Miliband announces plan to 'make this party slightly less unelectable by 2015'. He added: 'I am Ed, the Almighty One.'Defeated brother David Miliband overheard muttering: 'Now I know how Wayne Christ felt after little Jesus came along.

Nice mix of Tory MPs saying this issue shouldn't be used for petty political pointscoring, & Tory MPs trying to score petty political points.

Genghis Miliband roars up to the despatch box like a caged donkey.

A jacketless Murdoch resumes his quiz, brushing off the assault as 'an overexcited autograph-hunter wanting to have his shaving foam signed.

To all the revolutionaries fighting to throw off the yoke of tyranny around the world: look at British democracy. Is that what you want?

Yes, freedom is good, but arguably, grammar is better.

Politicians are like God. No one believes in them, they haven’t done anything for ages, and they give jobs to their immediate family.

If Britons were left to tax themselves, there would be no schools, no hospitals, just a 500-mile-high statue of Diana, Princess of Wales.