284 Quotes by Aziz Ansari

I guess my music taste is pretty predictable: I like new indie rock stuff, older stuff.

I'm kind of obsessed with food. I like to eat. When I tour, it's like, well, like a food tour as much as a comedy tour.

The most influential thing was the two Chris Rock specials that came out when I was in high school. I was obsessed with that stuff.

After you do a joke a few times, you have material that you know works. Although sometimes I have a joke that has worked a bunch of times and then one night it'll flop. And that's when I really take a hard look at myself and say: 'Well, that crowd is obviously wrong. That crowd has absolutely no idea what it's talking about.

Other than friends and family, my favorite things are New York and stand-up. I love doing comedy in New York - I can do way more stand-up here than in Los Angeles.

I have never taken the high road, but I tell other people to 'cause then there's more room for me on the low road.

I strapped an MP3 player to one of those floor-cleaning robots. Call him DJ Roomba - little guy cruises around and plays music. What's hot, DJ Roomba!

Most people would say 'the deets', but I say 'the tails'. Just another example of innovation.

When I bet on horses, I never lose. Why? I bet on all the horses.