14 Quotes by Bernard Manning

We used to sleep five to a bed and three of them used to wet the bed. I learnt to swim before I could walk.

I’ve got cheekier with age. You can get away with murder when you’re 71 years old. People just think I’m a silly old fool.

I’m not saying my mother-in-law is fat – because she is of reasonable size, and I care about her and her self-image.

I’m glad I’m not bisexual. I couldn’t stand being rejected by men as well as women.

Uncyclopedia isn’t funny anymore.