228 Quotes by Bill Burr


  • Author Bill Burr
  • Quote

    When you say, "there's no reason [to hit a woman]" that kills any examination as to how two people ended up at that place. When you say, "there's no reason," you cut out the build-up and you're just left with the act. How you gonna solve it if you don't figure it out?

  • Tags
  • Share

  • Author Bill Burr
  • Quote

    And Donald Trump? That man literally has people shouting the n word at his rallies and he doesn't address it, which is astounding to me. He's a terrible person.

  • Tags
  • Share

  • Author Bill Burr
  • Quote

    It was right after 9/11 and I decided to walk around the grounds of the Pentagon, because I had never been there. Out of nowhere comes this speeding camouflaged golf cart and this guy starts yelling at me, 'What do you think you're doing!' The guy wrote my name down and began to follow me before I got really scared and took off as fast as I could.

  • Tags
  • Share

  • Author Bill Burr
  • Quote

    A lot of my fears and anxieties are the fears and anxieties of a six-year-old boy. When I finally confront them, they're really small.

  • Tags
  • Share

  • Author Bill Burr
  • Quote

    There are no winners in this election [2016]. I paid attention to it for about two months and then it just started to depress me. At least Hillary's [Clinton] a politician, but the fact that you've got a guy from a reality TV show! I have to say, out of everything I've ever watched in sports - the greatest comebacks ever - watching [Donald Trump] get the nomination for the Republican Party is the most astounding thing I've ever seen.

  • Tags
  • Share

  • Author Bill Burr
  • Quote

    I love doing radio, and I love doing stand-up, obviously. I'm good flying up to four hours, but anything past that, I want to kill myself.

  • Tags
  • Share

  • Author Bill Burr
  • Quote

    Business runs hot and cold so the more you're in charge of your own destiny, the better off you are.

  • Tags
  • Share

  • Author Bill Burr
  • Quote

    Any other town you go to there's this little devil and a little angel on your shoulder. A little good advice, a little bad advice.You go to Las Vegas, there's like a devil and a devil and they're just battling it out the whole time. It's like, "Smoke some crack!" "Get a hooker!" And then I go, "YEA! Yea, this is a good town. Smoke some crack and get a hooker! Alright!

  • Tags
  • Share