233 Quotes by Billy Connolly

I'd never consciously left home to see a zombie movie. They were fine by me, but I had no intention of ever being in one. But I've been learning more about it as I've been doing interviews. I didn't even know there were specialist zombie magazines and clubs. I heard the other day that a radio station had asked people if they`d made preparations for an attack by zombies, and a staggering number of people replied yes!

I've always liked it here. Part of me is Irish. My family comes from the west coast, so whenever I come to Ireland I get a wee tingling in my heart that I'm where I belong.

Never run with scissors or other pointy objects.

If you haven't heard a good rumour by 11:00am, start one.

Tread gently on anyone who looks at you sideways.

The religion in Scotland is one of the most patronising things... after the weather.

People die all the time. It's just that you're not around.

Without arts programmes there's only reality TV, and reality TV needs the arts to show it what reality is.

I became a welder. I was actually becoming an Engineer and I joined the wrong queue. And so I became a welder, without knowing what a welder was.