233 Quotes by Billy Connolly

If I had a hammer, there’d be no more folksingers.

A lot of people are too easily offended. Religious people, for instance. They’ve been offending other people for centuries.

The world needs more Edwin Morgans, people who can take the language and swing it round their heads and don’t care what you think.

I love fishing. It’s transcendental meditation with a punchline.

I’d always been scared of people with tertiary education and high intellects in case they found me wanting. I thought they viewed me as just a welder who knew a few jokes.

Where do you go when you die? The same place you were before you were born; nowhere! It’s over!

It’s my mind, and I reserve the right to change it as often as I like.

Honestly some folk will take offence at anything, I met a bloke with no legs this morning while at the bus stop, all I asked was “How are you getting on?”

I’ve always liked it here. Part of me is Irish. My family comes from the west coast, so whenever I come to Ireland I get a wee tingling in my heart that I’m where I belong.