233 Quotes by Billy Connolly

I used to have Mad Cow’s disease, but I’m alright Nooooooooow.

Wisdom isn’t an old guy on top of a mountain in a loin cloth. It isn’t an answer. It’s a question.

I don’t believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don’t want to say I don’t believe in God, but I don’t think I do. But I believe in people who do.

If you don’t know how to meditate at least try to spend some time every day just sitting.

If you want to lose a bit of weight, don’t eat anything out of a bucket.

In Mexico, everything on the menu is the same dish. The only difference is the way it’s folded.

People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that’s an image I really didn’t need.

Heckling is an act of cowardice. If you want to speak, get up in front of the microphone and speak, don’t sit in the dark hiding. It’s easy to hide and shout and waste people’s time.

Don’t work out, work in.