395 Quotes by Bob Hope

  • Author Bob Hope
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    Golf is my real profession. Entertainment is just a sideline. I tell jokes to pay my greens fees.

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  • Author Bob Hope
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    I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap.

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  • Author Bob Hope
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    She spoke perfect English, which led to considerable trouble. She couldn't understand us at all.

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  • Author Bob Hope
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    Where else but in America could the women's liberation movement take off their bras, then go on TV to complain about their lack of support?

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  • Author Bob Hope
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    When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things - not the great occasions - that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness.

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  • Author Bob Hope
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    Some people put us down. But I still haven't heard of any Americans trying to swim across the border into Mexico!

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  • Author Bob Hope
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    Golf is a funny game. It's done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I'm the healthiest idiot in the world.

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  • Author Bob Hope
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    Sure, we did need the oil in America. How else could Dolly Parton get into some of her dresses?

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