99 Quotes by Bob Mortimer

I don't fish but had always wanted to after doing it as a kid.

I've been brewing my own beer with this ex-army bloke.

I don't think old posh is as intimidating as new posh, is it?

I'm not that interested in other people, and I don't have any friends, so I'm not really the ideal candidate for Twitter.

I am increasingly of the mind that all fat is good.

I was just a toddler when my dad died in a car crash. With my mum, Eunice, being a young widow with a large family, she really struggled money-wise.

I eat a tin of sardines every day.

I was a solicitor once, so I'm truly grateful because I know what it's like to have a proper job.

I used to like getting cups and putting tiny bits of food and liquids in them. I'd grow mould plumes in the dark wardrobe of my little back bedroom. Not to eat them, mind - just to admire the growing power.