99 Quotes by Bob Mortimer

I never craved having people leave a show saying, 'He's really intelligent, isn't he?' I didn't watch Tommy Cooper and think, 'Oh, he's so bright.' He just made me laugh.

I like having something I can watch every single night. It suits my habits.

Shooting Stars' changed panel shows a bit for ever, I think.

My doctor told me that I would have had a heart attack on stage.

Our comedy is just falling over, funny faces, arguments, all the comedy basics, really.

You know the thing I liked about fishing when I was 14 was being out with your mates mucking about, throwing bread around, getting a bit wet maybe.

We're not scientific comedians, thinking like, 'Things have moved on, we need to do this, we need to reflect the world in this way.'

It can be very lonely knowing that you have things to say but you daren't say them. Knowing that you could contribute to something but you don't dare quite do it.

I'm not a fan of stand-up comedy, personally. But some of them are incredibly skilled.