116 Quotes by Bobcat Goldthwait

In my first stand-up acts there wasn’t material even. You know, I’d go on stage and cry and read a Dear John letter or gut fish on stage. I could be odd – and it’s what interested me as a comedian.

I retired from acting the same time they stopped hiring me. But following my own thing of making these small indie movies has been the happiest I’ve ever been.

That’s human nature – we want to completely rewrite history so it can be comfortable. Without getting too profound, I’m pretty sure that’s where the invention of the afterlife comes from. “We don’t really become worm food. We go to a magical place with bunnies and rainbows.”

What’s the difference between a Dice Clay concert and a Klan rally? Nothing. Trick question.

If you ever see me at a boat show or at a car show, blow my head off.

I’m against gun control. It’s not that I like guns, it’s just that allowing Americans to have guns will increase the chances that a bunch of rednecks will blow each other’s heads off.

Don’t hoo, hoo, hoo me. There’s a fine line between hoo, hoo, hoo and hiel, hiel, hiel.

People go, 'Oh, Trump must be good for comedy,' and I go, 'Ehhh.'

If you raise a cool adult, that's an achievement.