82 Quotes by Brandi Glanville

I'm supposed to eat shit with a fork and a knife and say thank you when I'm done swallowing this crap?

It’s actually quite the contrary. It’s time to freak the fuck out, and that’s not just acceptable, it’s obligatory. The rug has just been pulled out from beneath your feet, and everything you thought you knew with absolute certainty has vanished. Absolute hysteria is just the beginning—you’re about to embark on an entire roller coaster of crazy-ass emotions.

No matter how old you are, there’s no cozier feeling than to have your mom take care of you.

The moral of the story couldn’t be clearer: you already know if your partner is fucking around behind your back, you just need to decide if you’re done being a doormat. You need to wake up one morning and decide that those rose-colored glasses are so last fucking season.

...if you discover your partner is cheating, drink like it’s your last party, blame everyone else for your problems, let “binging” be your new favorite hobby, and, by all means, FUCKING PANIC.

The most surprising thing about breaking up is that you already know how to do it. Everything you need to know, you learned in kindergarten. Yours should always be better than his (especially when it comes to lawyers).

And finally, always remember that the other person started it.

I had stopped doing anything for myself. I no longer felt like an individual because for thirteen years, I was one-half of a “we.

Today's "housewife" is a sassy, clever, opinionated woman who faces challenges head-on and never shies from telling it like it is--all the while hoping to create a happy "home life," regardless of what kind of home she has and who lives there.