10 Quotes by Brent Crawford

... my heart skips a beat. Seriously, like a CD from the public library, it goes ZZebbTTT and skips.

Well, you know, I might try out for the musical," I say real quick.[...] She nods and says, "You should. We need guys." [...] She smiles and says, "Break a leg" as I walk out.That was uncalled for. "Bitch," I say under my breath as the door closes.

Ohhh, OH no you didn't!" he screams. "Nobody touches the TERRY!" Then he starts punching himself in he face. This kid really is crazy! I may not even have to fight him. He's doing it for me, and I'm winning!

EJ cries, "We've been best friends since kindergarten. You can't become a babe slayer and leave me in the dust! I don't have an older sister. I'm disadvantaged. All I got is Emmy, who can only drop preschool wisdom like, 'No pull Barbie's hair!'" "That's probably some early girl wisdom. Nobody likes to get their hair pulled," I say. "Except this one chick in my porno; I think she's into it. I cant really tell, though. I wish they would slow down.

You did too! You stole my bike, A-HOLE!" I yell out. Jeez, I'm like a Chatty Cathy Doll: just pull my string and I'll say, "You stole my bike, A-HOLE!

Lynn looks up at him to see if he's serious. "What?" he asks her. "If anybody is gonna put Carter's head through the wall, it should be me."EJ's eyes snap open, and he scoots away from me slowly. I'll remember this, Wingman!

When things suck, time stands still, but when you have an epiphany and you’re having the time of your life, it goes by in fast forward.

These kids are all trying so hard to be weird. I’m genuinely weird, so I can spot the effort a mile away.

Ohhh, OH no you didn’t!” he screams. “Nobody touches the TERRY!” Then he starts punching himself in he face. This kid really is crazy! I may not even have to fight him. He’s doing it for me, and I’m winning!