33 Quotes by Brian Celio

Some people put up a peace sign with one hand. Some people put up the middle finger instead. I use two hands and put up both.

The only way to get under me is to get over yourself.

I imagine the life of an atheistic praying mantis to be rather torturous.

Don't hate the word, playa; hate the dictionary.

He has your finger, but I have your heart.

Maybe the best way to get people to be pro-life is to start 'em off in amateur-life.

You might not be able to stomach it, but as long as you can mind it, your heart will be all right.

A government full of Democrats would rather have you be a Republican, and a government full of Republicans would rather have you be a Democrat, than have you oppose both.

Comedy is only as stupid as you are smart.