33 Quotes by Brian Celio

As much as it hurts, I would rather miss someone than hit someone.

I wish my nose would blow me for once.

Fire is no laughing matter. In a drunken attempt to appear womanly, my neighbor tried to burn her pubes off when she was fifteen, but it hurt too much to get it completely smooth. My friend had sex with her two years later and said her clit looked like a chestnut. I’ve been pro-bush ever since.

I'll take a redrum with a rellik please.

I write my own quotes. Except this one. I obviously stole this from somebody really clever.

What's love if not the thing you'll do anything and everything to get back once lost? What's hate if not the thing you'll do anything and everything to get rid of once found?

I'm just like any other person you can meet and greet on the street and like or not like. I'm not Holden or Humbert. You can really touch me! If you don't believe me, come to Aristod right now. Come hold and hump me!

I watch what I eat every day. I mean, who actually eats with their eyes closed?

Just because you're scarred for life doesn't mean you should be scared to live.