110 Quotes by Bruce Campbell

I had a hard-on that would impress my dad

People tend to make fun of low-budget movies, often because they lack the smooth sophistication of slick Hollywood fare. But what the average viewer fails to recognize is that low-budget movies, with almost nothing to lose, are far more likely to push the creative envelope. Granted, most of them fall flat on their face because of poor writing, choppy editing, and bad acting, but you have to love them for trying.

The prospects were depressing: Adulthood meant that I'd have to stop having fun and do something I didn't really want to do for the rest of my life – which was apparently a considerable chunk of time.

Tweaky craftily counter-rolled around the tree as I passed, now moving glacially. His wilderness ninja skills were impressive. I decided to stop the truck and just sit there for about five minute, testing his resolve. Tweaky stood his ground, shivering uncontrollably. He wasn't going to budge. He was too good and this was life or death.

I was not going to relinquish the prized penis to him or anyone else, so the airborne felon and I became engaged in an old-fashioned tug-of-war, with the pickled, stoutly inelastic organ pulled taut in our opposing grasp.

A cult classic is one that has been fully embraced by an alternative audience, not the popular audience.

I see the Internet as the next big deal - I wanted to get in on it early on so I wouldn't get behind it all.

Actors who say they can dive inside a character are either schizophrenic or lying.

I see parody as another form of comedy.