8 Quotes by Candace Vianna

We worked side by side building our sandwiches. Mine, just a few modest layers of meat and cheese, with a bit of lettuce for some added crunchiness; his, a Dagwood, piled high with turkey, ham, salami, lettuce, tomatoes, two kinds of cheese, and—were those jalapenos—with a teetering slice of bread carefully placed on top—there’s no way that’s going to fit into his mouth—he admired it for a moment then using his giant paw, smashed it into submission.

He was a beautiful pagan god with the voice of a serial killer, but that didn’t make him any less god like. It just meant rather than dying in some dank basement or isolated cabin, I’d die bound on an altar as part of some gruesome sacrificial rite. Exsanguinating while he stood over my naked body with my blood dripping from an obsidian blade...Angelina Martin

it’s okay if college isn’t your thing. I’m sure there’s a pole somewhere with your name on it, but next time you might not want to buy your tits off Craig’s List. Just sayin’....Danny James

it’s okay if college isn’t your thing. I’m sure there’s a pole somewhere with your name on it, but next time you might not want to buy your tits off Craig’s List. Just sayin’.

Who knows what lies in the hearts of men? And more importantly, who cares so long as they open our jars and kill spiders?

There were no romantic ships passing in the night. It was more like dinghies in the dark: Awkward, slow and hard to handle, quickly capsizing without ever finding land.

Nice try, sweetheart, but there’s no way you’re leaving me alone with a barely aware drunk chick. Who knows what she’ll accused me of later? This time tomorrow, the cops could show up at my door, and before you know it, I’m rocking an orange jumpsuit, singing “Summer Loving” with a guy named Snake.

We worked side by side building our sandwiches. Mine, just a few modest layers of meat and cheese, with a bit of lettuce for some added crunchiness; his, a Dagwood, piled high with turkey, ham, salami, lettuce, tomatoes, two kinds of cheese, and – were those jalapenos – with a teetering slice of bread carefully placed on top – there’s no way that’s going to fit into his mouth – he admired it for a moment then using his giant paw, smashed it into submission.