190 Quotes by Carl Hiaasen

The first thing that the boy called Smoke told Nick Waters was: “Your biology book’s in my locker. The combination is 5-3-5.” And the second thing he said was: “I didn’t do that fire, man. I’m innocent.

The nation was under siege by bloodthirsty hordes charging like rabid wolverines across the borders.

You from the IRS? The man’s voice was deep and wet, like mud slipping down a drain.

Guess I’ll have to come back another day and try again, Roy thought. That’s what a real Florida boy would do.

We get along fine. In return for food and shelter, they give me unconditional indifference.

Bangkok 8 is one of the most startling and provocative mysteries that I’ve read in years. The characters are marvelously unique, the setting is intoxicating and the plot unwinds in dark illusory strands, reminiscent of Gorky Park. Once I started, I didn’t want to put it down.

Wiley’s behavior had lately become so odd that younger reporters who once sought his counsel were now fearful of his ravings, and they avoided him.

I’ve never progressed very far from my days as a smart aleck in middle school.

The one word that no politician will ever speak, is ‘enough.’ Enough.