190 Quotes by Carl Hiaasen

Garcia wondered why people with JESUS stickers on their bumper always drove twenty miles per hour under the speed limit. If God was my co-pilot, he thought, I'd be doing a hundred and twenty.

Just because something was legal didn't automatically make it right.

Sunset on the water ought to be a quiet and easy time, but I guess some people can't stand a little silence.

As far as I'm concerned, the gator that ate T.C. deserves a medal from Crime Stoppers.

Please don't grow up to be one of those men who lie for the sport of it, and most men do. That's a fact. That's why the world is so messed up, Noah. That's why history books are full of so much heartache, and tragedy. Politicians, dictators, kings, phoney-baloney preachers-most of 'em are men, and most of 'em lie like rugs

Dessert was an over baked chocolate chip cookies the size of a hockey puck and just about as tasty.

The classroom fell quiet, a long heavy silence that roared in Roy's ears like a train.

From the bow of the canoe she asked, "Do you know a rain dance?""First I need a virgin.

He paused and manufactured a chuckle.