190 Quotes by Carl Hiaasen

The evening news made her wonder if God was dead; the morning sun made her believe He wasn’t.

Buck stared incredulously. “This is the first time you ever fired a gun? And you live in Florida?

Aldous Huxley. ‘Being contented has none of the glamour of a good fight against misfortune.’ You think about that.

Mickey Cray was surprised to learn that Derek Badger didn’t want any of his captive critters on location. Mickey had never wrangled for a nature show that used only wild animals, nor had he ever encountered a person less qualified than Derek to handle untamed specimens.

Officer Delinko thought the bald man must have a good sense of humor to go by such a nickname, but he was wrong. Curly was cranky and unsmiling.

Earl, you can’t walk around with a lead slug up your bottom. It’s bound to affect your outlook.” Tool jerked his hand away. “I’ll get it took care of, I swear.” “It could well be the turning point in your life,” she said. “What they call an epiphany. Or at least a catharsis.” He assumed those to be the surgical terms for a bullet removal, and he promised Maureen he would schedule the operation as soon as he got a break in his bodyguarding schedule.

Here’s my rule: You always want to pay cash for your own books, because if they look at the name on the credit card and then they look at the name on the book jacket, then there’s this look of such profound sympathy for you that you had to resort to this. It really is withering.

Everybody’s idea of a great book is different, of course. For me it’s one that makes my jaw drop on every page, the writing is so original.

Deep in every angler’s soul is a secret confidence in his own special prowess that impels him to keep fishing in the face of common sense, basic science, financial ruin, and even natural disasters.