190 Quotes by Carl Hiaasen

Though Madeleine’s face reminded Dr. Graveline in many ways of a camel, he was fond of her. She was the kind of steady patient that offshore trust funds are made of.

Love isn’t about thinking. You should know that by now.

Nobody said he was Alvin Einstein.

Nobody from the Amazing Kingdom bothered to check with previous employers, such as the New York City Police Department, to inquire about allegations of bribery, moral turpitude, substance abuse, witness tampering and the unnecessary use of deadly force, to wit, the pistol-whipping of a young man suspected of shoplifting a bag of cheese-flavored Doritos.

I think it’s always good for the author to stay a good cattle prod’s distance from the actual moviemaking.

In his love life Yancy specialized in devising scenarios that could lead only to unwise decisions.

Angie had been summoned to Casa Bellicosa to unfasten a screech owl from the presidential pompadour, which the low-swooping raptor had mistaken for a road-kill fox. When Angie arrived, the commander-in-chief was lurching madly around the helipad, bellowing and clawing at the Velcro skull patch into which the confused bird had embedded its talons.

When you’re given a newspaper column, you’re not being paid to sit on a fence and scratch your chin and say ‘On the one hand this’ and ‘On the other hand that.’ You’re getting paid for your opinion.

Just because something was legal didn’t automatically make it right.