42 Quotes by Celia Rivenbark

I braced myself for something wise and useful. Dink, like most Bubbas, could be quite insightful and kind when you least expected it.“Always remember one thing in this life,” he said, pausing to stare at the koala’s big brown glass eyes. I knew he woulda shot it if we were really in the wild.“What is it, Dink? What should I remember? I could really use some perspective here.”“Always remember . . . you can’t drink all day if you don’t start in the mornin’.

Why clone cats when there's perfectly good Russell Crowe lying around?

I don't have a college degree. I started working at 19 on a tiny newspaper. I've covered everything from weddings to crime to criminal weddings.

Sometimes, at parties, people demand I tell a joke. It's like pointing a gun at my feet and telling me to dance.

Writing humor is not something every single person can do.

To the newcomer to the south, hearing that a coworker plans a weekend visit to 'mama and them's' (the correct plural possessive, don'tchaknow), might make him think that mama has been left alone either throught an act of scoundreldom involving the town's resident hoochie-mama (an altogether different kind of mama) or Daddy's untimely demise.

She appears to have a face that would stop a clock and raise hell with small watches, bless her heart.

I'm fairly certain that, at this very minute, the [Mars Polar Lander] is floating somewhere around the Neptune feeling tired and cranky and looking for a Holiday Inn.Of course, you'd have to have a heart of titanium not to feel a twinge of sadness while watching those dejected NASA scientiest waiting by the phone like the class wallflower on prom week.On the other hand, it was kind of fun to watch a bunch of men waiting by the phone and seeing how they feel when someone promises they'll call and then YOU NEVER HEAR FROM HIM AGAIN.

And I reminded myself that it's easy to be grateful for the obvious blessings in life, much harder to be grateful for the tough moments and the lessons they teach.