17 Quotes by Charles Willeford

Outside of taking care of a man’s needs, women don’t get much pleasure out of life, anyways.

I’m not going to ruin my movie because of some stupid ruling that it has to be ninety minutes long. That’s just like adding three more plates to the last supper, or an extra wing to the Pentagon.

Smoking comforts ordinary men, but I’m not an ordinary man. There aren’t many like me left. And it’s a good thing for the world that there isn’t. There’ll always be a few of us in America in every generation. Because only a great country like America can produce men like me. I’m not a thinker, I’m a doer.

Just tell the truth, and they’ll accuse you of writing black humor.

My work is one long triumph over my limitations.

By the end of a short walk, the septic tip of a cane probably collects enough germs to destroy a small city.

Newspaper readers are a morbid lot, Mrs. Chatham; they enjoy reading about death in every form.

A small middle-aged man, he made the word “wizened” his very own.