104 Quotes by Chris Gethard

In late 2004, I left my much-maligned home state of New Jersey for the supposedly greener pastures of Astoria, Queens. I'd finally be in the mix, living off the subway line, able to go from audition to audition during the day and from late night show to late night show in the wee hours of the morning.

I do not like confrontations in New York City.

I classify myself as a comedian, but I'm one of those comedians who also acts so that I can split the difference and feel insecure about both.

The stereotype of New Yorkers is that we're people who avoid warm human interaction, we're always in too much of a rush to enjoy simple things, and that we're just generally rude.

Sometimes we get bored and want to shake up our format. It's a luxury we have on public access - no one cares about us. It literally doesn't matter if we fail, so sometimes we try to go really big and out of the box.

I'm not exactly Don Draper when it comes to physical attractiveness.

I don't think I'm ugly per se, but on bad days, I have been told that I look like the monster from 'The Hills Have Eyes.' That was extremely confidence-shattering, so I try to take care of myself.

If you are dating someone in New York City, and they invite you over to watch a movie, they don't really want to watch a movie.

Having money didn't make me less of a socially incapable loser; it just made me a socially incapable loser who wasn't in debt.