25 Quotes by Christian Finnegan

Canada, or as i call them, America Light.

The thing is – I’m not an idiot. I’m rather intelligent, as proven by the fact that I just used the word ‘rather’ in a sentence.

People might say, What’s so great about the Arctic Monkeys? I’ve never even seen them. Well, you’ve never seen God either. You’re gonna tell me he’s not awesome?

I’m not an alcoholic. I just drink that way.

Do me a favor, guys. Don’t drink so much that you become the guy that goes into the bathroom and moans while taking a leak. See, the women in the room, they might not know what we’re talking about; every dude knows.

Relationships are a lot like yard sales. They look really fun from a couple hundred feet away, but eventually you realize it’s just a bunch of crap you don’t need.

You know what I’m great at? Trivial Pursuit. What good is that gonna do you in life? It has the word ‘trivial’ in the name. The game is basically telling you that you pursue trivial things. Trivial – as in not important. Trivial – as in maybe you should’ve gone to grad school.

If I could go back and talk to the me who was just starting to do comedy, I would have told myself to relax and not worry about things happening right away. That’s a mistake a lot of people make – they think a year is a long time and it’s really not.

America may be entering it’s Michael Jordan on the Wizards period.