141 Quotes by Christopher Buckley

That's the beauty of argument, if you argue correctly, you're never wrong.

Necessity is the motherfucker of invention.

People believe unbelievable things because it's self-flattering to think that you are intellectually daring enough to accept what others find preposterous.

You never remember who came to the funeral, but you never forget who didn’t.

Oil they would buy from anyone. From Satan.

A twenty-minute eulogy, unless composed by a) William Shakespeare, b) Winston Churchill, or c) Mark Twain, is sixteen minutes too long. Technical note: It is better to tell a eulogist to speak for four minutes not five minutes. “Five minutes” to the modern ear sounds like “around five minutes,” whereas “four minutes” means “four minutes.

Nothing raises the national temperature more than a VACANCY sign hanging from the colonnaded front of the Supreme Court.

You could drink hard liquor in the middle of a school day without people assuming you were an alcoholic underachiever. Strange how in America in the 1950s, at the height of its industrial and imperial power, men drank double-martinis for lunch. Now, in its decline, they drank fizzy water. Somewhere something had gone terribly wrong.

How many times had those awful words - "I know what I'm doing" - been uttered throughout history as prelude to disaster?