141 Quotes by Christopher Buckley

The vice-president's tongue is several time zones ahead of his brain.

Who knew, in 2000, that 'compassionate conservatism' meant bigger government, unrestricted government spending, government intrusion in personal matters, government ineptitude, and cronyism in disaster relief? Who knew, in 2000, that the only bill the president would veto, six years later, would be one on funding stem-cell research? A more accurate term for Mr. Bush's political philosophy might be incontinent conservatism.

And each year now we know more, but we know no better — what we see in the sky is simply the softened gloss of the past sifting back to us, and likewise, every atom down the body’s shining length was inside a star, and will be again.

The best advice on writing I've ever received was from William Zinsser: 'Be grateful for every word you can cut.'

I don't like breathing other people's smoke, but if we can put a man on the moon, my guess is that we can find a way to ventilate the smoke in one section of a bar or restaurant away from the non-smokers.

The danger in that is that you find yourself promoting cancer.

That’s the beauty of argument, if you argue correctly, you’re never wrong.

Who needs evidence when you’ve got the Internet?

One realization does dawn upon the death of the second parent, namely that you’ve now moved into the green room to the River Styx. You’re next.