82 Quotes by Clemantine Wamariya

People there were so kind. There’s a lovely word in Swahili: nishauri. It means “advise me. When someone was mad at you, they would come to your house and sit down and talk and say, This is very disrespectful and I think we should consult each other on how to move forward. Let’s make peace here and come to a conclusion that is beautiful.

Now it felt like I did nothing. I had everything and I did nothing.

I could no longer discern what was real and what was fake. Everything, including the present, seemed to be both too much and nothing at all.

You had to try to hang on to your name, though nobody cared about your name. You had to try and stay a person. You had to try not to become invisible. If you let go and fell back into the chaos you were gone, just a number in a unit, which was also a number. If you died, no one knew. If you gave up and disintegrated inside, no one knew.

Silence accommodates hate.

Taking care of loved ones in my world was not based on affection. It was based on the fear of losing them.

I wanted to retain the right to disappear. Remaining in place, nesting -- it sets off fears that somebody would yank me away. To counter it, I had to flee. I had to reassure myself that I still knew how to escape.

The colonists, the aid workers, the NGOs -- they're all in a single progression: paternalistic foreigners, assuming they are better and brighter, offering shiny, destabilizing, dependence producing gifts. How can one accept anything from so-called rescuers when their predecessors helped your people destroy one another?

Before dawn I heard Rob say that he thought we'd crossed the border into Mozambique. That made no sense to me, I had always assumed that a border was, if not a fence, at least a long ditch, a crack in the earth. I'd seen the lines on maps: black, unambiguous, imposing. I never considered those were made up.