73 Quotes by Colin Jost

Any promotion or opportunity you get in life comes with increased exposure and increased criticism. The more people want your job, the more shit you’re gonna get for not doing it well.

Che got me to think about Update in a different way. He taught me that if you try to do something you love and something someone else wants you to do, the both suffer, and the thing you love might disappear entirely.

In conclusion: Don’t drink and do drugs until you’re older, when drinking and doing drugs are extra embarrassing. That way your brain will be in good enough shape to remember all the humiliating stuff you do when you drink and do drugs.

Eventually, I trained myself not to speak that way because I didn’t want people to single me out. I wanted to fit in other places, not just where I grew up. That’s why I now sound like an Ohio weatherman—neutral, friendly, and almost fully recovered after escaping that cult.

You need to say what you’re thinking a lot more and not be afraid of being judged or being inarticulate or offensive or boring.

As someone who was bullied growing up, I realized that it’s way easier to play into the bullying rather than fight it. If you’re better at making fun of yourself than a bully is, then the bully has no room to operate. (Except punches. They still have punches. Oh god, do they have punches.)

No one in comedy (or any field, really) succeeds in a vacuum. And the faster you find friends who challenge you and sometimes make you jealous, the faster you’ll grow as a comedian (and regress as a human).

The religious kids were really religious, the kind who push religion on others in a way that always freaks me out. They are like people who keep telling me, 'You have to see Hamilton!' Honestly, no I don't and the more you keep telling me, the less likely I am to actually see it. Though I have subsequently seen, "Hamilton" and it's excellent.

I’ve been very lucky to have a job this great for this long. When I look back someday, I think that my time at SNL will seem like the best years of my life. But I also think that my best life is still yet to come. And if not, I can always beg Lorne for my job back.