90 Quotes by Colin Mochrie

When you kill someone by chopping off their head, rolling ’em up in a carpet and burning it, you’d better make sure they’re dead!

We all have a dinosaur deep within us just trying to get out.

Hey, come on, I’ve seen younger faces on money. Money.

We’ll be back to our nature documentary, ‘Baggy the Anorexic Elephant’ in just a second.

I believe it was Shakespeare who said, ‘All the world’s a stage, and you are CRAP!’

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. It’s not like the sheep was underage.

I was a bookworm. Every week I’d go to the library and get seven books. Remember libraries? I wonder if people still go. And I learned about everything from the library. I came from a Scottish family. Old school.

My mother on her death bed told me, ‘Where the hell did that kangaroo come from!?’ – it just popped out of nowhere and punched her in the head and caused a cerebral hemorrhage, so I thought I’d move to a country where there were no kangaroos!

There’s many times this year I’ve sat back and thought, I’m making a living from making things up. It’s the only skill I have so I’ve been really lucky.