134 Quotes by Craig Johnson

I’ve done some crazy things in my life, but asking women their age isn’t one of them.

He didn’t sound particularly drunk, but Bob’s a professional, so you never can tell.

I keep it in there as a reminder and to keep temptation at hand. Temptation out of reach does you no good.

Be careful what you say and who you say it in front of in this place, every ear is guaranteed to have a running mouth.

There’s a kind of cocksure attitude that overtakes a man in the presence of the dearly departed, a you’re-dead-and-I’m-not kind of perspective.

Some fires can’t bear to dampen and can provide heat even from the distance of time. As.

That was the beauty of horse stealing, though – you could always ride your stolen property.

I approach poetry and spirituality like literary nitroglycerin – a little can do a lot and you better damn well be careful with it.

As your trusted Indian scout, it is important for me to warn you that you are now on perilously thin ice.