636 Quotes by Craig ferguson

He will know from and early age that failure is not disgrace. It's just a pitch that you missed, and you'd better get ready for the next one. The next one might be the shot heard round the world. My son and I are Americans, we prepare for glory by failing until we don't.

Strange star-like object over Oslo right before Obama arrives. A gift of a golden medal given by a group of wise men... Nah.

Ros was dead.He had loved heroin more than it loved him. I was shocked beyond imagining; he was the first of my friends to fall.

I found out it is just as hard to make a movie that you are not proud of as it is to make one you love.

Jimmy put in a word and told them that if I made it, I wouldn't be able to live with myself without paying them back. That I'd sooner die than owe anyone money for helping me. Apparently Jimmy knew more about me at that point than I knew about myself.

His face had gotten so fat his eyes were little bloodshot dots of mistrust.

Hotel rooms have an aphrodisiac quality.

The Bible has been through at least half a dozen translations by the time you read it. Plus, when the word of God is infected by the hand of man, that is, written down, it is tainted.

I don't think wood was discovered in Britain until the 1970's. That's when I discovered it anyway.